


Ease

by Hidden_Joy



Category: Eyewitness (US TV)
Genre: Angst, Based of Ease by Troye Sivan, Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Grief, Hurt/Comfort, Love, M/M, PTSD, Sadness, Short but sad, Song fic, a mother's love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-19
Updated: 2017-08-19
Packaged: 2018-12-16 19:23:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11835399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hidden_Joy/pseuds/Hidden_Joy
Summary: Philip has nightmares and his mother's touch, comfort, and lullaby are all that soothe him.





	Ease

Philip sighed heavily, much heavier than any ten year old should be sighing, listening to his mother's voice from the other room as she talked on the phone.

He hugged his arms tighter around his knees, closing his eyes and trying to push away the nightmare that he'd just had.

The cold nipped at his skin, but there wasn't much he could do about it. They didn't have heat and his thin blanket wasn't enough to keep the cold away.

He tried to focus on the cold and his mother's voice, rather than the image of her passed out on the couch, unmoving, that had just played itself in his head.

But, then his mother's voice stopped and he opened his eyes.

Had she just hung up? Was she okay? It was irrational, maybe, she _had_  just been on the phone, but the nightmare was still playing in his head.

It was only when his door opened, reviling the thin silhouette of his mother did he relax.

"Are you asleep?" Anne asked gently.

Philip lifted his head, shaking it as he did.

"Nightmare," he squeaked softly.

Anne frowned, but nodded, coming over to sit by him.

"It's okay, baby," she said softly, stroking her fingers through his hair. "It's okay," she promised.

Philip sighed, his mother's voice and touch soothing him. He pressed his eyes closed.

"I love you, Mom," he said quietly.

"I love you, too, my Philip," Anne answered softly, continuing to thread her fingers through his hair.

He smiled softly when Anne started humming, an old song she always sang when he had nightmares.

With the touch of his mother and sound of her lullaby, Philip managed to fall back to sleep.

[][][][][][][]

Philip gasped as he woke up, heart pounding.

Lukas, dead on the ground. Shot by the killer. The gun, aimed at Philip, ready to shoot.

He shook his head, trying to clear it. It wasn't real, it wasn't real, it wasn't real.

He grabbed for his phone, needing to call Lukas, needing to hear his voice, needing to know he was alive to shut down that irrational part of his brain.

He stopped himself, thumb hovering over the call button on Lukas' contact. No. Lukas was probably asleep. Lukas had enough problems from the murders, he didn't need to hear about Philip's. It's not like he would talk to him anyway. He hated him now, for telling Helen.

He took a shakey breath, turning off his phone and tossing it back on the nightstand. He rolled over on his side, bringing his knees up to his chest and started humming.

He wished he could call his mom. He wished she was here. Wished she could stroke her fingers through his hair and hum this song to him to get him to fall asleep.

The song worked only a little bit. It wasn't as good as hers. But, she was safe in rehab, getting better for him.

He hugged his knees closer to him, closing his eyes, a few tears slipping down his cheeks.

Lukas wasn't talking to him anymore. Helen was trying to make it seem like she believed him, but she didn't and he could tell. And he couldn't even talk to his mom.

He felt like his whole world was collapsing. And that stupid nightmare kept playing in his head. Lukas, dead. The gun, aimed at him.

He sucked in a breath, murmuring the lyrics of the old song, hoping it would do better that way.

Philip eventually managed to fall back to sleep, broken and scared, wishing his mom were there.

[][][][][][][]

The first thing Philip thought when he woke up in a cold sweat, the memory of the nightmare fresh in his mind was _Mom_.

But then, he remembered. He remembered she was dead. That Ryan Kane killed her, took her from him in the worst way when she was trying to get better for him.

He felt a sob escape his throat. Not only was the nightmare still lingering in his head, but his mother was dead. She would never calm his dreams with a song and her touch ever again.

Before another sob could fall from his lips, warm arms were around his waist.

"Philip?" Lukas' whispered voice asked, pulling him close, back against his chest. "Did you have a bad dream, baby?" he asked, his tone gentle as he lifted a hand to stroke through Philip's hair.

God, just like his mother used to do. Philip let out another sob, curling his arms around Lukas and burying his face against his bare chest.

"Philip, baby, please talk to me," Lukas whispered, concern in his voice. It amazed Philip how far he'd come. Before he couldn't even admit he liked Philip, but now he was holding him while he cried and sleeping in his bed.

"Bad dream," he answered, voice muffled by his tears and Lukas' chest.

Lukas nodded, rubbing a hand up and down his back and stroking his hair.

"Wanna talk about it?" he asked.

Philip shook his head. "No," he answered. "I just... when I was younger and I had a bad dream, Mom, she would—" he choked, another sob escaping him.

"Sh, it's okay," Lukas murmured.

Philip shook his head. "She'd—she would hum this old song and stroke my hair until I fell asleep. But—but she's gone, she can't do that anymore," he sobbed softly, gripping Lukas tighter.

"Oh, Philip," Lukas whispered, kissing his forehead.

"It just made me feel so at ease," Philip told him. "Like nothing was wrong as long as she was there."

Lukas nodded, understanding. "What song was it?" he asked gently.

"Hey Jude by the Beatles," Philip answered after a second.

Lukas nodded, kissing his forehead again, fingers still carding through his hair.

And then Lukas started to hum.

The familiar tune rang in Philip's ears and he felt himself slowly calming down, relaxing in Lukas' arms.

"Thank you," he whispered, voice rough with tears. "I love you."

Lukas stopped his humming to whisper "I love you, too," but then got right back to it.

Philip nestled further into his boyfriend, sighing quietly. "Thank you," he murmured again, his eyes falling closed.

And just like he was little, Philip fell asleep to the sound of his mother's lullaby and the touch of the person he loved most.

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is based off of Ease by Troye Sivan. I've always thought this song fit so well with Anne and Philip and there aren't enough clips to make a video, but I figured a fic would have to do. Hope you like it!
> 
> -HJ


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